Week 1 Journal Entries

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Senda
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Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Senda »

Here is the thread for your week 1 Journal entries! Please feel free to post any that you write this week here. Please label your entries with the title of the episode they are related to so that folks can avoid spoilers.
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Jared Rascher
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Jared Rascher »

Personal Log: Ensign Talum

(Pre-Episode 1 & 2)

I was very excited to receive the posting to Voyager. The Intrepid-class is the most advanced long-range science vessel that Starfleet has built to date. After Wolf 359, I was afraid that all of the starships rolling off Utopia Planitia would be multi-role explorers that could be pressed into military service, and that science concerns were going to be minimalized.

I was never afraid that the Federation would abandon scientific exploration entirely, but the more general the ship profile, the more “science” starts to look like “confirmation.” I know I shouldn’t be so invested in novel new concepts, but I am excited about the possibility of being the first to conjecture about new phenomena.

When I received my orders for Voyager, I also noted that we would be staging our first mission from Deep Space Nine. This has me buzzing with excitement. The formal starting point of our mission is the station nearest the Gamma Quadrant wormhole. We must be going on an extended tour of the Gamma Quadrant! What could be more exciting than that?

I was fairly certain that a long-term science mission would be a perfect assignment for me. I don’t have any close family left on Risa, and it’s not like I fit in well on the planet. On a planet where sexual expression is ingrained in societal norms and rituals, to be someone that does not feel sexual attraction without deep attachment is to be apart from everyone. No one ever treated me badly, but they did look at me as if I had some unfortunate mental illness that needed to be accommodated, rather than accepted. Starfleet Academy and it’s my accelerated schedule were a welcome escape.

That’s why my last night before leaving for Voyager was so confusing. Depending on how you look at it, that night was devastating or wonderful.

Ekon and I had been friends since our earliest days in the Academy. We were inseparable. His enthusiasm and positivity were infectious. I loved science, but I was often cynical about specific procedures or bureaucracy. Ekon was always the first to put things into perspective. Even more important, when Ekon, too, was frustrated, I knew my concerns were well-founded.

I was surprised when Ekon didn’t accept a commission after graduation, and decided to work for the Daystrom Institute. While I was waiting for my assignment, I was going to put in for personal housing, and Ekon asked if I wanted to stay with him instead, rather than settling into a new place, only to ship out later.

The night before I left, Ekon and I stayed up all night talking about his work at the Daystrom Institute. I told him all about the subspace anomalies, dark matter deposits, pulsars, and electromagnetic storms I wanted to find. We laughed about how I loved finding new things, and Ekon loved sorting through the numbers. We joked about how we complement one another so well.

We laughed. Moved closer to one another. And we kissed. The thing I never thought was going to be an impediment to my career suddenly hit me, like a quantum filament. The next morning, I tried to talk about it, even though it was so nice just to hold one another as the sun streamed in the window.

“I’m leaving. Voyager is a long-range vessel. We haven’t been told how long this trip will be, but eventually, the ship is probably going to be doing long-range science surveys. It’s what the ship is made for.”

“I know. I’m a content sort. I’ll wait for the data to process. I’ll wait for you. Surely you’ll have to swing by the Daystrom Institute eventually.”

“We could be gone for years. If I’m right, and we start surveying the Gamma Quadrant . . . “

“Don’t borrow trouble. We never know what the future holds. We didn’t expect this, even if deep down we knew it. Don’t forget me. Send me messages. I’ll process the data, just like I do for my day job.”

“So I’m work now?”

Ekon smiled, that broad, infectious smile.

“Work produces results. I’m excited to see this experiment to its fruition.”

I never thought I would have to worry about this. For a bit, while I packed up my gear to leave for Voyager, I thought about trying to talk Ekon into reversing his decision on the commission he turned down. Then I realized that Ekon, knowing what makes him happy, is what makes me care for him. I don’t want to shape him. He is my friend, and he is more, and we’ll need to wait for more data.
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Senda
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Senda »

Personal Log: Ensign Lexoya Seagin
Pre-Episode 1 (Caretaker 1 & 2)

The day before you go in is always tense. We’d only been home for about a week since our last mission when Captain Chakotay called us in again. They’d found another target, and we had to hit it fast. There’s never enough time home but home is what we’re fighting for, so it’s worth it. I can always feel the worry, and the determination. It's the pain of everyone around me, constantly, that put me on this path. At least this way I can try to do something, try to change it. I hate how scared they all are — we all are. We shouldn’t live in fear like this, just because some Starfleet big head signed a treaty. What right did they have? We live here and we have for more years than most can count. You can’t give away our homes. They were never on the table.

Every time I say goodbye to Orlu, he smiles this sad smile, and I can feel his worry and his love rolling out of him in waves. He’s proud of me, every time. He kisses me and for a moment we hold on to each other as if the physical grasp could hold me here. Every time I swing that pack on my shoulder and he watches me cross the fields again to the ship, careful not to muss his carefully laid rows and planting, but unwilling to walk the dusty roads when instead I can take a few more minutes in the calm joy of growing things and the rich scent of moist earth. Aryana III has the most beautiful light — liquid gold from an old star, and three moons. i love this planet, and this life that would be simple if only we could be safe to live it. I always tell Orlu the same thing as we finally part: “It’s not goodbye. It’s only see you later.” And he looks at me and all those feelings wash over me again with the warm gold light and says “See you later, then, love.” And I leave.

This time it was a cargo ship. We took them out but they weren't alone — we didn't expect the company. The thing about battles from the engine room is that you can’t see. You’re just buffeted about while the sparks fly, tasting the fear of everyone around you in their minds while you focus on keeping everything together to get you out. We were in the plasma storm and all the sensors went absolutely wild — there was a flash of light—

------------------------- Post - Episode --------------------------

We always knew, the Maquis, that something might go wrong — that we might not come home. We are freedom fighters, and any stray blast or clever trick could bring us down, although we are generally smarter, faster, and more committed than those bloody Cardassians. We were almost away safe through the plasma storm — then there was the Tetrion wave. In one split second, I’m at least 75 years of travel away from the Alpha quadrant and everything I know — and the home I’ve been defending and fighting for. And Orlu. There’s no turning around and scampering home. There’s only making this work. And by this, I mean working with the Star fleet vessel that was sent to bring us in. We’re alone out here, with only each other. It would be funny if it weren’t so true.

It’s pretty strange to be wearing a Star Fleet uniform again. It’s been years since I gave all that up for a handful of seeds and two brown eyes, and golden light like syrup over the pancakes he makes me some mornings for breakfast. On a big ship like this you have to color code the people so you know what they’re for. I’m back in yellow and even have my title back. I am not sure how I’d feel about it back in the home sector, bu here it feels pretty reasonable. We have to work together to get any of us home. Combine our resources. I hope that Captain woman isn’t just saying that, and I have to trust that Chakotay knows what he's doing to get his people home safely. I’d say we've been in worse, but I think we’ve just been in…different, still not good.

They lost an awful lot of their engineering team in the initial Tetrion wave on the Voyager. It’s me and several others helping to fill it out. Some of the systems are newer than I’ve worked with before but I know we’ll figure it out soon. It’s funny how fast the training comes back to you. The Chief Engineer was one of the ones they lost but his second has replaced him and we’re figuring out how to function as a team. There’s still less urgent damage we're repairing all around the ship — systems that aren’t vital, but are annoying.

I can feel their wildly mixed emotions. We’re all trying to figure out if we can trust each other, and if we’re each reliable. I have a leg up on that, I suppose — I’ve been catching waves of strong emotions all day since we merged ships and they give me a pretty good idea of everyone’s state. I am being very careful about following Star Fleet guidelines about non telepathic species to begin with, but I didn’t take any oath this time so if I feel like it’s a requirement for my safety — or our safety — you bet I’ll take a look.

For now, we keep the peace. Hopefully that’s enough and we all find a way home.

I promise I’ll come back to you, Orlu. Wait for me.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by AndiFox »

Pre- and Post- Episode 1
Personal Log Ensign Zetra Vahino

Pre-Episode
Voyager. I’ve been posted to the scientific exploratory vessel Voyager which sounds super badass. It doesn’t really matter where I go. I’m gonna be an awesome pilot. Shuttlecraft. Starships. Doesn’t matter. I’ve spent a couple years on this basic bitch route. Five years on a starship paying dues should lead to the Beta Antares Ship Yards testing experimental ships… or anywhere with experimental ships… vehicles, whatever. If it needs a pilot, I’m there. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do on a science vessel. Maybe I’ll get to pilot in some really weird atmospheric conditions or space anomalies.

A bunch of us were doing shots at Lu’s last night of some real stuff, so I might be a little hungover. Maybe not in the best of shape to get to DS9 but can’t be worse than our graduation party. T’Rinno told me to mind my manners on Voyager. There’s supposed to be some up-and-comers in the senior staff. She especially warned me not to pull a Vahino on any of them. Not that I would. Unless one of them was not my direct supervisor and super hot.

I know I’ll miss my friends. T’Rinno, Ethossaoth Ch’tellit, Vijen, Chili—everybody. I’ll even miss Lt. Frosa. Maybe not a lot but some. I know the job was boring, but the company was awesome.

Post-Episode
75 years. What the hell am I going to do for 75 years on this pathetic ship? I guess at least T’Rinno will be around by the we get back. I might not be. I may not make it 75 years. What if I spend the rest of my life on this ship and die before we get back? It’s not like there’s much room for advancement here. There would’ve been if this SOB Paris hadn’t been aboard. The Captain would’ve totally chosen me for the main pilot if she didn't just hand the job to Paris. He’d been dishonorably discharged! I have a spotless record and more hours logged as a pilot than anyone else on this ship. Probably.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by AndiFox »

Message to loved ones written during Episode 6: Eye of the Needle

From: Ensign Zetra Vahino
To StarFleet Personell: Ensign T’Rinno, Ensign Ethossaoth Ch’tellit, Ensign Cecilia U’Ilani, Lt. Vijen
To Civilians: Qedar Vahino (Res’lar, Bolarus IX)

Friends and Cousin,

I’m sure StarFleet has informed you of our mission gone haywire, so I won’t spend time on that. I know I said goodbyes to most of you recently, but this goodbye is for a much longer time. It is my wish you are all around 75 years from now when Voyager gets home. I know that may not happen, so this may be also a final goodbye. You know I’m not good at this stuff. But if there’s anything to say I guess I’d better say it now. I don’t have a lot of time so I apologize if things are kind of stunted.

First—Qedar, please tell the clan about what’s happened. I know I’m not on the best of terms with everyone, but let them know that I’ll miss them. I’m sorry I won’t be there for your wedding. Maybe your soon-to-be co-husband can stand up for you. Or anyone you want really. You never listen to me anyway. I like that about you. You’re my oldest friend. Find all the happiness you can.

Etho and Chili, our time together at the Academy was amazing. T’Rinno and Vijen, I’m so glad we met at the space station. Don’t let anything hold you back from the dreams we talked about over drinks at Lu’s, or go out and achieve new dreams. I believe in all of you.

Chili, I’m sorry. I guess I can’t uphold the ‘if we’re both still single at 35” promise. I hope you find someone/s who treat you like the goddess you are.

I love you all, Z.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Jared Rascher »

Personal Log, Post "The Caretaker"

I haven't had time to process everything. There is so much going on. At this point, our mission is moot, but it turns out that it wasn't based on science or exploration. It was a damn political move to entrap some Maquis. I am so angry. Why would we use a ship like this, one that's at the pinnacle of exploratory technology, that is designed to further knowledge, to play "gotcha" with a group of people that have a political argument with the Federation and the Cardassians?

I don't know and I don't care why the Maquis aren't appreciated by the Federation. I thought political maneuvering like this was in our past. Maybe I just haven't been paying attention. I know this is the wrong way to think of this, but on Risa, we never see wars. We hear about them, but eventually, everyone "we" are at war with, we sign a treaty with. To some extent, that's why the Borg were so scary. Everybody, from Klingons to Romulans, to Tzinti to Cardassians, they all have needs that have to be met, and when they are met, conflict ends.

I wanted to be upset with Captain Janeway for destroying The Array, but I'm too idealistic to say that a whole race of people should suffer just so we can get back home. One of them joined the crew. I hope I get a chance to talk with her, just to get to know her people and their story a little better. That might help me with perspective.

I am still angry though. I'm angry at the Federation, for sending a captain with bonafide scientific credentials, in a ship made for exploring and researching, to do a stupid, pointless police action against a group of people whose needs aren't being met. This should have been something for the Diplomatic Corps to fix.

Speaking of people I want to talk to, I don't know how, but I want to reach out to some of the Maquis, now that we have them on the ship. Understanding is important. I doubt that getting to know them will suddenly make me think that we were justified in our mission. Most likely it will be the opposite.

At least we shouldn't have to worry about the Borg all the way out here.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Jared Rascher »

Ensign Talum, Personal Log, Post Parallax

The sciences division got hit hard when we first arrived in the Delta Quadrant. I'm not seeing nearly as many "blues" as I would like. I was a little worried that I was going to be pressed into service to work with our EMH. I get very anxious when it comes to having someone's life in my hands. I was decent at biology and physiology at the Academy, but my marks don't reflect it, because I was constantly taking a hit due to my hesitancy. Thankfully, it looks like the Captain is still going to prioritize scientific exploration while we're on our way home.

We ran into something really fascinating, but unfortunately, with Sciences division hit so hard, we need someone to crunch numbers. So instead of getting to theorize or work directly with something exciting like a quantum singularity, I've been at my station, running numbers, and double-checking them to make sure that the assumptions that the bridge crew are working with are correct. I know it's vital, but I'm still experiencing a quantum singularity vicariously through numbers. This is . . . frustrating.

As far as the crew shaking out, it looks like the Maquis are just on the ship, or working in various positions. Chakotay, their leader, was reinstated as a Commander and is Captain Janeway's XO. There is also word that our chief engineer is going to be Torres, that Klingon woman from the Maquis. Torres doesn't sound like a Klingon name. I wonder what's up with that.

I haven't had much luck talking with any of the Maquis so far. Still a bit standoffish, even with some of their own being assigned important positions on the ship. I hope that fades over time. I want to say "I don't care about any of that," but I'm a little nervous that would get me in trouble with some of my Starfleet people. Lt. Tuvok really doesn't seem like the type to ignore infractions, even if they are borne out of pointless political squabbles.

Yes, I should have recorded personal messages for my family on Risa and for Ekon. You want to know what's funny? We're already trapped in the Delta Quandrant, 75 years away from home, but as soon as I found out we were trapped in a quantum singularity, my mind immediately made than an excuse for why I didn't need to write those personal messages.

"Sure, we make get home in 75 years and someone may still be alive to read them, but if we're stuck in a quantum singularity, nobody will ever read them, so there isn't a point, right?"

In the end, I'm just putting things off because I don't want to face what happened. Its still so new to me. Ekon and losing Ekon both.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Jared Rascher »

Ensign Talum, Personal Log, Post Time and Again

I was expecting more astral phenomenon or potentially more radiological studies of various bodies as we travel home. So far, the Delta Quadrant has been a grab bag of very interesting temporal/spatial manifestations. At first, I was a little disappointed at doing "after-action" annotation, but it lets me see what kind of high-level physics the bridge crew has been interacting with. In this case, I get to write a full summary of the effects of subspace damage on temporal-spacial links, and then annotate the schematics for the polaric generator that Ensign Kim and Torres developed.

It turns out my vague knowledge of human naming conventions was correct. Lt. Torres' father was human. I still haven't had much of a chance to talk with her, though.

Personal Message to Family on Risa

We have had an accident, and Voyager has been displaced into the Delta Quandrant. I do not know at what point you will receive this message. At our current pace, it will be 75 years before we are likely to return home, and I know many of you may no longer be with us at that time. I may not still be among the living when this message, and Voyager, return home.

Please know that I am thinking of you. If you were ever curious about the lessons I learned at Starfleet Academy, please know that I have already been privy to scientific research on quantum singularities, subspace damage, temporal anomalies, and polaric fiend generation. If you with further information, I'm sure Starfleet will be willing to provide any non-classified data on this research after submitting a proper inquiry.

As always, All That is Mine is Yours

Personal Log, Continued

That was cold. Perfunctory. I don't know what else to say. I already felt like an exile from Risa, so in the context of not being able to go home, it hurts far more to not see San Francisco than it does being distant from Risa. I shouldn't be this hardened. All that is mine is not also that of my family. It's a lie, but a pleasant one. There is only one for whom that phrase has any meaning for me. It should be true of this crew as well, but as much as I talk about wanting to reach out to the Maquis, and to make new friends, I don't want to open up.

To be honest, no one has specifically pointed out that I'm Risian so far on this journey, and I'd be glad if that continued. I don't want to disappoint them, or be their image of a Risian, or anything. I just want to keep going. I want to do my science. And in between, I may dream of Ekon. But even that's feeling more like a pleasant fiction, something I dreamed before leaving. I'm falling into how I felt back in the early days of the Academy, when I just wanted to learn, and then sit at home and absorb what I had learned.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Jared Rascher »

Ensign Talum, Personal Log, Post Phage

In a weird turn of events, it looks like I managed to get out of sick bay duty, since Lt. Paris has been given the task of assisting the Doctor as his second job. I have no idea why Paris was chosen, I'm just glad I didn't have to come up with any excuses. Apparently processing data and annotating reports is important enough to keep me out of the way.

I'm especially glad I wasn't roped into that duty, because we encountered a species, the Vidiians, that is suffering from a disease that they cannot cure, and who supplement their own health by stealing organs from other species. While the devices they use to identify and transport organs are fascinating, I find myself needing to take a break whenever cataloging what we know about them, because its a lot to think about. This all reminds me that I'm not fit to be in medical.

This is also causing me to think about my earlier assumptions about home. New species might be hostile because there isn't a common base of knowledge. Crossing the wrong border might cause an incident. Some life forms are naturally inicimal to others. All of that is a "given" to me. But we've got multiple species already in the Delta Quadrant that intentionally want us dead. We don't have a diplomatic corps to talk to them. We don't have the resources of the Federation to help us determine what they need to make things right. They want to kill us on sight.

Before this, I think I still felt like a Federation vessel that was on an extended mission. Now I'm starting to feel way more like we're vulnerable. Are we a Federation ship, when we have no Federation support? Does the inertia of having what we have, and knowing what we know, mean we still are what we were?

I need to go back to processing data.

No, no personal message for Ekon yet.
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Re: Week 1 Journal Entries

Post by Jared Rascher »

Ensign Talum, Personal Log, Post-Eye of the Needle

I should be very excited at the prospect of processing all of the information we gathered on the decaying wormhole that we encountered. The fact that it had a "bent" phase variance that touches a different point in time on one end than it touched on the other is fascinating, but not unheard of. Not only is the phase variance a wealth of data to process, but the observed and projected decay rate of the wormhole is just so much data to look at and extrapolate from. I could spend years just look at this data.

But the problem is, I can focus on any of that. Because I didn't have a message ready for Ekon.

I know, in the end, we didn't end up getting to communicate with the Federation in the manner we had originally hoped. But for a while, we thought we had a means of communicating where we were, and our status, that wouldn't take almost as long to reach the Federation as Voyager itself. And because I was stubborn, and confused, and pretending to live in a world where none of this affected me, I didn't have a message for Ekon.

We were friends for so long. My memories add detail and meaning to the time we spent together before that last night. Am I wrong? Was this just a momentary lapse into . . . something for Ekon? Am I just a friend he remembers fondly, but has already written off? If we aren't going to be home for 75 years, do I have any right to send him a message assuming that any part of him hasn't moved on? Am I worth holding a special place in his heart at this point?

I'm such a coward. I want to hide behind numbers, and summaries, and predictive models. I want to live in a world where I look at how others have lived, and I map out how those lives might play out with slightly different circumstances. Everything in the hypothetical, rather than in the moment.

After all of this, I think I've talked myself out of it. Ekon has surely moved on, and if he didn't, was there really anything to move on from? I can't worry about this anymore. This was all a mistake. Everything was a mistake. I'm going to sit at this workstation and process data for the next seven decades, and drop-dead, and my satisfaction at life is going to be seeing the summary of how much memory my predictive models take up.
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